I hate small talk
“I hate small talk. I want to talk about atoms, death, aliens, sex, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, faraway galaxies, music that makes you feel different, memories, the lies you’ve told, your flaws, your favourite scents, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurities and fears. I like people with depth, who speak with emotion from a twisted mind.” Breagha Young
Where do you find the answers to all those questions?
A common thread when people are talking about finding solutions to problems is “Have you read this book ….?” Closer prodding often reveals that people may or many not have bought the book; may or may not have read it; almost certainly (with very few exceptions) will never put into practice what it recommends.
Of course some books are very practical and do offer good solutions but too often they’re not quite the right fit for the person who is trying to solve the problem. Often they end up being a solution that people try and fit into their lives and then drop.
When there are so many questions to answer, acquiring more and more knowledge can seem like the right thing to do, but often it’s not the knowledge that we need to make the changes we want to make or answer the questions that we have.
What’s at the bottom of many problems we try to solve is people, and how we manage our relationships with them. The biggest challenge of all is managing ourselves.
One of the best ways to learn more about people and how relationships work is — in my opinion — to read philosophy and poetry. Here’s why, and some recommendations …
“Because poetry, in all its unruliness, obscurity, and monomania, is closest to the heart of what personhood is. If a bookshop doesn’t admit of the auric and the odd, the cryptic and cathartic rhythms of idiosyncrasy, then it lets us settle for the typical — the false idea that life can be reduced to a series of types.
“Poetry knows better. The alphabet is not a life sentence; genre is a wave. We press on into infinite space with our finite selves. Each of us, like every letter ever written, is cradled by time, in which all things are possible, and nothing is complete.” From Joseph Denny- Braun
To dip into a variety of poetry I recommend subscribing to Joe’s newsletter “Cairns”
Philosophy is more usually about our relationship with ourselves and how by mastering our own thoughts and emotions we become more able to engage in healthy relationships with others.
Here are three books to get started with …
1. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
2. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” — Viktor Frankl
3. The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday
“Control your perceptions. Direct your actions properly. Willingly accept what’s outside your control.” — Ryan Holiday
For a quick intro to some of these books and recommendations to others see https://fourminutebooks.com/best-philosophy-books/
And if you want to talk about atoms, death, aliens, sex, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, faraway galaxies, music that makes you feel different, memories, the lies you’ve told, your flaws, your favourite scents, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurities and fears… just get in touch :)
